WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
