he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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