can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
