I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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