I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
