when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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