As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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