First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
