Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
