im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
