I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
