my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
