We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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