...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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