lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
