There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
