Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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