apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
