ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize