You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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