No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
