i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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