so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
