did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My feet surprised me
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