they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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