And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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