im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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