Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
