3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
