He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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