How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
