After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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