You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
