He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
