He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
