I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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