I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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