I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
