Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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