hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
