All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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