Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
