you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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