the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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