I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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