did you get engaged???
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
