"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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