Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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