what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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