If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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