we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
