Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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