I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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