I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize