Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
