Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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