Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
