fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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