Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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