I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
