moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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