I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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