Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
