I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
