In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
