Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
