He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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